Heloise Responds

Dear Washing and Waiting in Westfield:
Thank you for your letter. I must, of course, politely ask just who thought white uniforms was a fitting choice for a group of 12 year old boys. Perhaps, dear reader, there is a bit of collusion going on between the equipment manager and Colgate-Palmolive?? Hmmm? However, I, too, tried a variety of methods on your white pants -- from industrial solvents used by NASA to old-fashioned pounding with a rock by water's edge -- and found that I could not achieve true white sparkling success. I see no chemical or mechanical answer and as such, I encourage you all to adopt Devin Anderson's superstitious but simple solution to this messy mayhem and "not wash the uniforms until the team has won districts!" You may not want to stand downwind from the dugout but I like the young man's enthusiasm and spirit. Plus, any team that chants "We've got bleach" is bound to strike fear in the hearts of the other teams you face this summer. Westfield (Off)White...Wear your light orange pants proudly!!
Heloise